My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Randomize
