I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
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