Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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