Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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