What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize