hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
this is an emotional support booty call
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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