Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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