I just saw a hot homeless man
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
