boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
How external is "for external use only"?
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
