Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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