You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize