You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Its about making memories worth repressing
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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