Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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