We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
