I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
