dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You did what with his pubic hair?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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