I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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