You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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