can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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