he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
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