You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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