You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
