Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize