Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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