Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
