I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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