if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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