From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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