We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
