WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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