I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
