with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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