what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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