therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
