i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
