Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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