She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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