WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
