How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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