Soap is not a condiment
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
