she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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