break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
my poor anus
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
