Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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