It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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