nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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