Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
