Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Blood and glitter go together right?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
