So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
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