We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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