i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
As shirtless as possible
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
