She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
