he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
