First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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