dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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