Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
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they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
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He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
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