OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
