WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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