we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
