His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
