Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
