Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
