Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
