Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
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I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
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