Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
