last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
