oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Randomize
