I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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