Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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