Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
